Been too long

So it's been a while since I made a post. Unusually long in fact. I have been rather caught up in the day to day of life. Nothing particularly bad has gone on recently, so I suppose that I have less to bitch about or something. Anyways, I feel like writing tonight so here I am.

Work has been going pretty well. I'm starting to really sharpen some of my skills which has let me find a nice little groove. My secret is that I just pretend that every single day is a game. That makes it a lot easier to deal with the daily grind of my job. It also makes for a hilarious perspective during every single call.

I have spent a lot of time working on getting Frankendude up and running. It's been a fun process, and when it runs it's fun. I'm still working out the final kinks in the system. It's been a slow process but I think I can figure the rest out from here. The real issue is that I don't think that it is going to have enough power to play the more hardcore games that I have. It's funny, right as I finish getting Frankendude up and running, I started researching my next build. I think my next build will be around $600.00 and I have a feeling she will be able to kick Frankendude's ass.

I've started tracking my calories (thanks to a bunch of prodding by Chey) and it's helped me to realize where the weakness in my diet lies. I think that if I can ever convince myself to get off my ass during the week that I will have a better time controlling my weight. Maybe it's time that I start taking advantage of workplace gym. It would present a good chance for me to catch up on my audio books.

There has been a lot more magic playing in my life lately. I think this is largely due to the frustration that I have experienced with building Frankendude. That's the nice thing about cards, they don't require a lot of troubleshooting, rarely do they have faulty parts, and generally speaking are much cheaper than computer parts. That can't be all though. I'm feeling the urge to dive in the MTG scene harder than ever before. Maybe it's because now I know more MTG players than I ever have before. 

Anyways, I just wanted to let you all know that I hadn't forgotten you and haven't yet abandoned my blog. I've just been so caught up in life that I haven't taken the time to reflect much. This habit is a little too cathartic to drop completely. Peace out!

Physical: 8/10
Mental: 10/10
Emotional: 9/10
Social: 9/10
Financial: 8/10
Vocational: 9/10
Educational: 10/10
Spiritual: 9/10

Total: 92
Grade: A-

Ps- I just noticed that I've been pretty steadily holding on the the A, A- level for a few months. That's pretty cool.

No reason at all

I don't really have a purpose in writing this post. I just feel like writing I suppose.

I've been doing some reading in the last few weeks, and I've been reading a really good book about the creation of Twitter. Twitter, my favorite social media service, was made by the same guy who wrote Blogger, the very site that hosts this blog. Not sure yet, but I might be developing a small man crush for Ev Williams. I'm not sure yet, we'll see how the book ends.

Work has been going fine. I have no real complaints. If I did have to complain, I suppose it would be that I feel like I haven't seen my friends in a long time again. This seems to be a trend with me where I see my friends all at once, and then, nothing, for like weeks on end. Hopefully with my new schedule this will change. At the very least, now that I will be on Dalton's team I should see a lot more of him.

I've been in a very creative mood lately. I really should channel this and find something positive to do with that energy. I mean, I guess this writing here qualifies, but I fell like I could do more. Maybe I should take up painting again. I don't know. Something. Maybe I could do some creative writing. That has always been something I have enjoyed, but I haven't done any in a long time. Maybe I should start a sub-blog and write about some of the stories that I have swimming in my head.

There has been a lot of walking this week. I have gone on several long walks with Chey, and they have been really enjoyable. I love the fresh air and I feel good after the walks. No hurting like after a run, just a nice all over burn in my body. This has been the excuse I have had to catch up on some of my audio books (read: Hatching Twitter). I think that I should start easing myself into some more intense exercising. By more intense, I mean yoga. I miss all of the stretching.

I have been doing a lot of gaming lately. What little I can anyways. I have been playing through Final Fantasy VI (also known as FF 3) and I have been making good progress in that. Tonight is the first night in a week that I haven't played. Not like I'm burnt out or anything, I just felt like a change tonight. I'm sure I will be back on it again tomorrow. This has been pretty good for me lately, but I have really been craving something more intense. I have been contemplating getting a PS3 lately. They make good media centers, I can play all sorts of great games on it (read: Metal Gear Solid IV), and I have been looking online, they are getting pretty cheap. Hell, I can pick one up now for less than I paid for the chromebook I'm typing on now. I don't know, we'll have to see. I need to pay off my car first. Being an adult sucks.

I think all of this is just an indication of how good I'm doing at my work. I'm getting good at my job, so I am learning at a slower pace. I'm learning at a slower pace so I'm getting bored. I'm getting bored, so I want to play and occupy my mind more often. It's extremely refreshing to have the time, money, and energy to devote to my favorite hobby, I just need to figure out which direction I want to take it in. I've also been thinking of building my next computer, and while this would be a much better investment and much more versatile than a console, it would also be much pricier. I just keep thinking that I need to find the cheapest way possible to entertain myself. I'm thinking that either a PS3 or a new handheld would be the best way to go about this. I just haven't made up my mind completely. I'm also feeling pressure to spend my money on other things, like savings, motorcycle classes, cooking classes, and a few other non-video game things. I don't know, hit me up on social media (read: Twitter) if you have an opinion. 

Anyways, it's getting late. I have a lot to think about over the next couple of days as I make up my mind on how best to go about entertaining myself. Goodnight everyone.

Physical: 9/10
Mental: 10/10
Emotional: 10/10
Social: 7/10
Financial: 10/10
Vocational: 10/10
Educational: 8/10
Spiritual: 9/10

Score: 93/100
Grade: A-

Coffee HO!!!

So I know it's really odd for me to make two posts so close together, but I have had a lot of coffee this morning, and I have some extra time with nothing to do, so I figure I might as well write.

So it's been a couple of good days people. Work is going great this week. I know I just jinxed myself, and that's ok, because I've had a super good run this week. I'm one of those people that you hate because they love their job, and they are excited to go to work. Let me tell you something, *whispers* I love being that guy!

Other than that things are going pretty well. My body has been doing some weird shit lately. I have been super susceptible to caffeine lately, for like, the first time in my life. I have been abusing the hell out of that. I also have had some weird joint pain, and my back is acting up. I don't know what that's all about, other than I need to start working out. I don't know, my body has just been talking to me a lot lately.

Mentally, I'm still going full throttle. I get more and more focused as time goes on (the coffee helps), and I have still have not found any limits that my mind hasn't overcome. Well, I say that, but I guess my memory could use a little work. I haven't forgotten much, just to do a couple things here or there on time. I remember eventually, just not when I need too.

Socially, nothing has changed since the weekend. What can I say, I'm a homebody during the week. 

Spiritually, I'm not really sure where I am. I have not been thinking about it much, other than I feel like I'm really finding a groove in my life that I can dig into and exploit. Every day I take another step closer to the man that I want to be.

I started having the itch to have a kid again. I think I'm in a better place than ever before to try and have one, but I still think it's better if I wait. I think I can do better, I can overcome more before I make that step. Le Sigh~

Anyways, things are going great. I kind of want to talk about why work has been so good this week, but I really hate bragging, and so I'm not going to say what happened. I just hope this kind of behavior keeps up is all.

Alright peeps, I'm off to fill my coffee cup again. See ya on the flip side!

Physical: 5?10? Let's say a solid 8/10
Mental: 10/10
Emotional: 9/10
Social: Meh 8/10
Spiritual: 9/10
Vocational: 10/10
Educational: 10/10
Financial: 10/10

Total: 94/100
Grade: A

A long time in the making

Hey there everyone. So yeah, been super long since my last post. I have been pretty busy. Seems like all I do is eat, sleep, and work lately. So this may be a long post. Then again, I have been drinking and I get to play video games when I'm done, so it may be a really short post. We'll just see how the mood strikes me.

To kick things off, I'm doing really well. I have been doing really well at my new job. I feel like I've been fitting in to the job really well, and everyone seems pretty happy with my performance so far. We'll see if I can keep that up. I have my permanent schedule for the next 6 months, and I got exactly the schedule I was after, so I'm very pleased with this.

I have been doing way better with Chey. She is starting to get things straightened out with some of the things she has been dealing with lately, and we have been doing a lot better as a couple. It took a bit of a fight for us to step back and realize that if both of us didn't make some right proper choices in the immediate future then things wouldn't work out for us. Happy to report that we have both been working on our relationship and how we treat each other, so super happy in that department as well.

I saw my friends last night for the first time in a few weeks, and that was really refreshing. I feel like I rarely get to relax any more, and you know, I have made a lot of progress in a lot of areas in my life lately, so it was super pleasing to be able to spend some time just fucking off and playing cards.

Financially things are better than ever. This new job is paying great, and with Chey's careful planning and saving, I now have more money on hand than I have had in the last few years. It's so nice to not have to worry where my next meal is coming from.

Physically I'm getting a bit better. I have started taking some walks with Chey to keep myself in a bit better shape. I hope to keep up this trend and to graduate to some harder workouts when it gets a bit colder. This is still an area that I have much progress to make in.

Mentally I'm flying. I feel like in the last few weeks, between all of the progress at work, the astrophysics course (that I'm taking for fun BTW :P), and everything else in my life, I feel like I should be at some kind of limit or saturation point. Instead, like a fat kid who always finds room for desert, as soon as my head feels full, I find that I have room for just one more thing, and then one more thing. You get the idea. I'm really starting to feel engaged, challenged, and most importantly, like myself for the first time in ages.

My emotions have been mostly in check lately. I feel like I'm doing pretty well, considering that work is extremely testing in the area. I have to sympathize with my customers in order to do my job at the top level, which I'm doing, and I have to keep them in check when my customers are yelling at me. I seem to have found some kind of balance at the moment. I just need to keep on eye on it and not let myself fall to far one way or the other.

On the whole, I feel like I'm fitting into my place into the universe really well. This job change has been the best decision (it was Chey's idea, but my choice) I have made in a really long time. I'm so much happier with my life and where I fit in. It's left me with the energy to do the things I actually care about in my life. I think I summed it up well with Cody when I was talking with him a while back. His father, for example, has limitless physical energy. He can work a hard, 18 hour day, and still want to go out and work after. I told Cody then that I'm the same way, just on the mental end of the spectrum and it feels good to live up to my own estimations. I feel focused and that feels really good.

Alright, time for the next beer, and the next activity, my continuation in Final Fantasy VI. Sorry it's been such a long time coming for an update. I've just been sailing along so well that I guess I don't feel the need to write so much when things are going well. Alright guys, we'll talk soon.

Here's the lineup:
Physical: 8/10
Mental: 10/10
Emotional: 9/10
Spiritual: 9/10
Financial: 10/10
Vocational: 10/10
Educational: 9/10
Social: 8/10

Total: 93/100
Grade: A-

Mr. Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be?

Hey all, so I'm making a resolution to stop apologizing for the delays between posts. I have had a really erratic schedule for the last, well, forever it seems like, and I just can't seem to stick to a posting schedule. So, from now on, just know that if I haven't been posting, there is probably a lame excuse as to why.

Ok, so work is going well. I am still in the honeymoon phase with my new job and I couldn't be happier. It's so nice to come home smelling like not an engine block. I'm getting along with with all of my co-workers and we all seem to be building a good team mentality.

I've been spending a lot of time with other peeps lately, and that has had a very positive impact on my social life. I think I have seen more people in the last two weeks than in the last six months combined. It's been a trip trying to pry myself out of this hermit mentality that I have developed over the last few months. I find myself being a little more social each and every day. The only way I can accurately describe things is that I have been slowly remembering who I am each and every day.

It's been an extremely rewarding couple of weeks. Every day I'm getting my life more and more into shape. My finances are continuing to come into focus, my mental state continues to drill down to an iron focus, and emotionally I'm high as a kite. Soon, I shall to start getting the one thing into shape that I have been avoiding, my ass. I've accomplished all of the other stuff in my life the last few months all just in order to avoid working out. Like, I think about working out, and I'm like, "nah, I'm just going to go learn some physics", or, "nah, I'll just clean the entire apartment". I'm slowly running out of things to focus my primary attention on improving. Bleh.

Alright, well it's getting late, and I have to work in the morning. I just wanted to touch base with you guys and let you know that I haven't forgotten about you. This is one project that I'm dedicated to sticking too. Science knows that I have given up on enough projects in my life, I just can't bring myself to let this one go. Alright, let's wrap this up.

Physical: 8/10
Mental: 9/10
Emotional: 10/10
Social: 10/10
Spiritual: 8/10
Vocational: 10/10
Educational: 9/10
Financial: 9/10

Total: 93/100
Grade: A-

Mi Scusi

Sorry peeps. I've kind of dropped the ball lately with the blogging. This has a lot to do with the fact that I have been extremely busy this week. So let's dive right in.

I started my new job this week, and I can't stop telling people about it. For those of you just tuning in, I started this week at T-Mobile. I'm still in training, and will be for a while, but it is already a load of fun. I love the facilities, I love my co-workers, and I love anything and everything un-carrier. I used to work for a different carrier back in the day, and this company's culture is a breath of much need fresh air. 

Being on first shift again (for the moment) has been really nice too. I has a social life again! Now that I'm off work with the vast majority of my friends, I have been bouncing here and there trying to catch up with everyone. This couldn't have come at a better time. Any more time at the old job and I would have lost my mind.

Sadly, seeing all of my friends and catching up on business has left little time in my life to sit down, reflect, and type. Better late then never I suppose. For any concerned parties out there, don't worry. Chey is well on her way to a full recovery and me and her are getting along fabulously.

Financially things are starting to get better for me. The new job helps with that, but more so it is the effort on Chey and mines parts that are making the real difference. Her strategy and calculations, mixed with my self-control and discipline has really started to show a difference. I'm slowly chipping away at debt, building my credit, and making progress step after step.

Mentally I am still running at full throttle. I find that as I sit in class it's not hard at all for me to stay completely engaged. I'm even helping some of my classmates (I think) learn there stuff too. It's really fulfilling to be able to help push people forward and bring everyone up to a higher level.

I think that will just about wrap things up today. I'm going to try and make my posts a little more regular from here on out. Hopefully things start to calm down here next week. 

Until then, Ciao!

Physical: 9/10
Mental: 10/10
Emotional: 10/10
Social: 9/10
Financial: 8/10
Vocational: 10/10
Educational: 10/10
Spiritual: 9/10

Total: 95/100
Grade: A

An exhausting few days

Sorry it's been a while since my last post. I've had a lot happen in the last few days, and this is will probably be a doozy of a post. My apologies in advance.

So to start off my week, Chey asked me to take a vacation day on Monday, because she wanted to go buy a motorcycle and she needed me to give her a lift out to the dealer. Being the good, and lazy, boyfriend that I am, I of course take a day of vacation so that I can help my girl. We take off a little after noon and head out to Kingman (a city I about an hour from here) to go check out this dealer that has caught her attention. We take the long way down to Kingman so that we can scout out the route that Chey will be taking back, and so that we can avoid traffic in both directions.

The dealer was pretty awesome, and I would totally recommend him for anyone in the Wichita area. It was this awesome little shop called Bobz Bikes. Bob is this real down to earth guy who was totally on the level with us. He showed Chey around and helped her pick out the perfect bike. She did all the paperwork, got the loan to go through, got insurance, did everything. If there is one aspect of her personality I would love to emulate, it's that she is very prepared for every situation. Chey had already purchased a helmet, boots, a jacket, and gloves before she even bought the bike. Ok, so, everything is paid for, and off we go.

We leave Kingman and start on our way home. Everything goes off without a hitch until we get close to the Wichita city limits. As we near the city, we have to take a detour because of a crash. This wasn't a huge problem, because this was an area that we were both familiar with. We get into the city and we get stopped at light right before we turn north to go to our apartments. At this point, we are maybe three blocks from home.

The light changes, and Chey goes to make her left turn. As she takes off, the light starts to change, and I don't know if this got to her or what. They say that there are a thousand things that cause a crash. We had been driving for over an hour, we hadn't eaten hardly anything all day, and I'm sure that Chey was hot and a little frustrated by how touchy that clutch is on her brand new shiney bike. All of this added up to her gunning her throttle a little to hard, taking the turn a little too wide, and as she came up to the corner, she should have been able to correct. However, there was some residual sand left on the streets from this winter when the city laid sand to help with the ice, and of course they never cleaned it up. 

As soon as Chey hit that sand, it was all over. She hit the curb, launched off the bike, and thankfully landed in the grass. Now, I have a pretty cool head on my shoulders during emergencies, thankfully, but I gunned it through that intersection as hard as my car would accelerate. I drifted in the empty lot and jumped out of the car. By this point, several people who had witnessed what was going on had jumped out of their vehicles and rushed to Chey's aid, some calling the police, some getting her bike off and away from her, and one elderly gentleman who just held her hand the entire time. Thankfully, she was alive and without major injury.

Paramedics, police, and firefighters all rushed on the scene soon after that and got Chey back onto her feet. They gave her the once over, inspected the bike, and got their reports written. We didn't end up going to the hospital due to Chey's complete and utter over-preparedness. Her gear saved her life and left her with little more than some bruises and a bit of road rash.

Chey got very, very lucky. She could have died or have suffered much more severe injuries. She should have had worse injuries. But she didn't. The reason that I waited 4 days to write about all of this is because I have taken all week to process things emotionally, and to take care of (and spoil) Chey. Right now she is laying beside me taking a much need nap and I couldn't be happier about that.

So, that was my Monday. This event has definitely given me some perspective on my relationship, and has kicked my ass into gear to do the chores around the house. It's not that I need to do anything extra, Chey is healing just fine, but now more than ever I just want to do the chores. I want to take all of the burdens that I can muster off her as I can. I want her to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love her, and that I would be lost without her, and that I can't imagine my life or how I would be if Monday had gone any differently.

I believe that is probably enough of that subject. I'm still processing some emotions over it, and if I think too hard, I just end up tearing up, so on an emotional level it's still hot to the touch.

Other than that, the week went surprisingly well. Work, while only two days long for me this week, was an easy two days. I put in my written notice to my mangers to let them know that next week will be my last week. It's not surprising to me that they are not even attempting to retain me. They consider me disposable and figure that as soon as I leave, they will find some other yutz to take my place. This all sits just fine with me. I think they are going to leave me alone for the rest of my time here, and that's all I'm after. I do wish I could be a fly on the wall here in a couple more weeks when my boss and my other co-worker leave them. :D

I spent some time with my family today, ate some steak, so that was good. This weekend I will spend a bit of time with Dylan. I'm becoming very fond of my time spent with him every week. We never do much, but that's alright. I just enjoy getting out of town for a bit, spending some time not doing anything at all.

Once again, I apologize for the atrocious length of this post. I just wanted to get all of the details of the crash written down so that this time next year or whenever, I can come back and remember how everything happened. This blog is supposed to not only be a journal to help me sort through my emotions and act as some personal thearapy, but it is also supposed to be a life log to record all of the major events in my life, and I believe this to be a biggy. I'm just so very glad that Chey is ok, and that she will heal up here in the next couple of weeks. Report card time.

Physical: 7/10
Mental: 9/10
Emotional: 5/10
Spiritual: 10/10
Financial: 9/10
Vocational: 10/10
Educational: 7/10
Social: 9/10

Total: 86/100
Grade: B

One Week Down

It's been a few days since my last post. I've been really busy this week. So much to do and so little time! That means we should get started! (I have dinner to make after all :D).

Hmm, so what's new, what's new? I have added a few pages too this blog, each one a different review that I have done on the site goodreads.com. This site is a pretty, well rounded, book club style review site for any books you've ever read. I highly suggest that you sign up for a free account and use it to find new stuff to read. Also, feel free to follow me on there or to just click the links on the right side of this page to read some of the reviews that I have written. Ok, there is my free little plug for them.

I have spent a lot of time this week working on improving my life on the digital side of things. Last weekend, to my regret, I found that I have an insufficient power supply for the computer that I am re-building. Minor setback, but it just kind of sucks, because it is the like, sixth set-back in a row with this particular project. I really want to get this computer up and running because right now I have no real way to play any real games, which unfortunately is the best way for me to keep in touch with my inner circle of friends.

Speaking of games, the computer setback got me itching for some gaming. Someone during my week mentioned that he was replaying Final Fantasy 6, and that sounded like a fantastic idea to me. So, I jumped on the linux side of my Chromebook (a successful minor project resulting from the first failure with the desktop) and installed a Super Nintendo emulator. This was probably not necessary, I'm almost certain that my girl has the actual cartridge, but that's alright. I mostly just wanted to see if I could do it, and turns out that I can, even with the shit hardware that Chromebooks tend to come on.

Wow, this post is already turning into a monster, so I guess I should get to the rundown.

Physically I have been doing pretty well. I continue to lose weight, even without the yoga or anything remotely resembling exercise, and I'm ok with that. I did have an extremely strong urge yesterday to workout, and I think that as soon as I start my new desk job I will have to make that a priority. Hopefully then I will start to have a lot more energy due to not being on my feet all day.

Mentally I continue to accelerate back up to my nominal speeds. This week I had my first real multi-tasking event for the first time in the last several years, and all week long my focus has been getting stronger and stronger. Prolong engagement of my mind is becoming more and more frequent and my upper levels of thought are regaining their knifes edge as I continue to exercise my brain.

Emotionally I had a bit of a set-back this week. It was brief, but it was strong. I'm still not entirely sure what set it off, but on Monday Chey came home and was having a rather rough day. She took a bit of it out on me, which is fine, and I don't blame her because I know that she didn't mean it, but it did set off an emotional trigger in me. I should have just let it roll of my back like I do with all of the other conflicts in my life, but for some reason, this one struck home. That night at work I had the first anxiety attack that I have had in the last 2 years. It wasn't a full blown event, but there were some palpitations in my heart and some difficulty focusing on my work. Things of course have gotten better for both of us since then, but it was still a setback on my side this week.

Financially little has changed. I am finally starting to have some money to spend on myself as my debts start to fall off, and that's nice. I trust Chey is still on top of things and I leave it at that.

Spiritually I feel myself every day getting more and more in tune with the universe. It's very gradual, but as time crawls on I feel that I am starting to find my groove. I believe this is mostly just a positive indicator that the other seven areas of my life are starting to line up, but I still am not putting much thought into this particular area yet.

Educationally this was a neutral week. I have learned a few small yet important things this week, but nothing really new since last week has changed. Most of it relates to how hard it is to get dropbox to work the way I intend it too on linux.

Vocationally things are going great. I officially got my offer from the new company this week, which I graciously accepted, and I filled out of my tax forms and I-9 paperwork. I know my start date, and my starting pay, and soon I will put in my notice to current employer. I'm very excited about this development and I can't wait to get started.

Socially I am doing better. I spent some time with Dylan last week, and that kind of turned into an impromptu party unexpectedly. This suited me just fine as it allowed me to see Shelby, Topher, and Lindsay, all three of whom I hadn't seen in at least as long as Dylan. I'm going to be going down south again tomorrow to spend some more time with Dylan as well as my parents. I love Chey and spending time with her, yet it is nice to get away for an afternoon now and again to hang out with my friends. It's nothing compared to how much I was seeing everyone just a few months ago, but better than it has been in the last couple of months. Chey and I have made a lot of progress in fixing the problems between us and I feel that this has left a bit of wiggle room to get out and see the other people in my life.

All in all, this week has been a real good one. Work has been easy, I have been keeping the house clean, and no one is terribly mad at me. Here's too hoping that this become a trend!

Physical: 9/10

Mental: 9/10

Emotional: 5/10 

Spiritual: 9/10

Financial: 9/10

Vocational: 10/10

Educational: 7/10

Social: 9/10

Total: 87

Grade: B+

So far so good

Hell yeah, I've actually made a second post. This, I believe, is a first for me. Maybe this will actually work.

Alright, so let's see. In the last few days since my post, a few things have happened. For starters, me and Chey have done a lot of talking. We have been discussing our relationship and how we communicate with each other. I think it's a rather interesting coincidence that we started talking about how we communicate almost exactly the same time at which I decide to start blogging.

She has had me reading some books about relationships and I have found these to be rather enlightening. As it turns out, women are not as complicated as most of us guys think once you take into account a couple of ideas. First, most of us guys process our feelings by ignoring them and doing other things for a while why we sort them out in the background. Most women on the other hand process emotion by talking about them. Second, almost everything that a woman does or thinks has emotion tied to it. This is because their brain is like a dual-core processor, that has one thread for logical thought, and a second thread tied to the first that processes emotion. This is a good thing because it means that women can multitask far better then men. The third thing is, a lot of the time when women are upset about a problem in their life, they don't want us to necessarily solve the problem, the just want us to actively listen to how this problem is making them feel.

Now of course, this is a grossly oversimplified version of what I've read, but it seems to make sense to me. If any of you women out there disagree, please, comment below and let me know where I screwed it up. I'm making an honest effort here to learn how to better interact with the fairer sex, and I need to know if I'm approaching this wrong.

Ok, now that I'm past that, I guess I should talk about the rest of my week. I've spent some time hanging out with some friends that I haven't seen in months (unfortunately that is more likely the rule than the exception for me lately, a rule I am trying very hard to change). I have also set up some times to see some of my friends later this weekend, and after I get done writing this post, I'm probably going to pick a direction and just go, hitting up whatever friends cross my path. I've been lacking in the social department the last few months as I've been getting my career and my home life on track.

Physically I have been doing well. I'm down another 3 pounds this week, even though all I've done different this week is cut out the bread and use tortillas instead. I've been sleeping better even though I have reduced my medication again. It seems that my body is finally starting to get used to sleeping a full night through, and now I may not actually need so much help.

For the past few months it seems as though my eyes have been getting worse, but that might just be my imagination. It may be that I just need to clean my glasses more often, or that I need to put more effort into making my eyes focus.

Mentally I seem to be getting stronger every day. I've kind of been on a mental vacation for the last few months as my life has gotten progressively worse. The last couple of weeks I have spent a little more time each day applying myself however, and it seems to be paying off. I'm starting to engage other more often, I'm having less trouble remembering things, my focus is getting better, and my thoughts are starting to race again. It has been a very gradual thing, and I'm sure that part of it is that I'm reducing my zombie-creating meds, but I know that part of it has also been effort on my part. I'm starting to sound like myself in my head again. Feels good to be back. 

Spiritually nothing has changed for me in the last few weeks. I seem to be getting along just fine there, and it seems that recently I have found my groove in the universe. I'll spend some more time examining this later when I have less on my plate.

Financially very little has changed. Chey is still in charge of that part of my life. I can't express with words alone how grateful I am to have her assistance with that. I'm not sure what my hangup is with money, however I'm leaning towards the theory that it's just that I have made mountain of a mess with my finances and that I just don't want to deal with it. I'm extremely lucky to have a partner that is willing to help me so thoroughly in that department.

My education has had a spike this week. I found a site a while back called sliderule that helps you find both free and paid online course for any subject that you might be interested in. When I found this site, I knew that I would want to use it at some point in the future, but I didn't have time then. After exploring it a bit yesterday, I discovered a course on how to use Python on web servers that seems just what I'm looking for. I haven't sat done and done any work on it yet, but I'm sure I will soon.

Mmmm, good coffee! :D Sorry, wild tangent.

Umm, let's see. Vocationally, I'm still on the right path. I don't want to give away the surprise yet, but I received word yesterday about when some changes in my life are going to happen, so here in about 3 weeks I should be able to tell the internet as a whole.

That just leaves my emotional state. I'm still very disconnected from this side of myself. Me and the Doc have talked about how to section of that side of myself in order to keep it from influencing the rest of myself in a negative fashion, and I believe that I have gotten that particular skill down. Doing it in reverse is much hard it seems. I think part of it is the zombie meds, yet I know I'm still not making the connection on my end either. I do think that I've been able to successfully resolve some of the issues around my job, Chey, my friends, and my money, and while I don't feel any exuberant feelings of joy, I do think that I can sense the overall feeling of relief. I'm going to have to ask Doc about this and see if he thinks I'm ready to fully reintegrate my emotions into my greater self.

Anyways, I think that is just about all for now. This seems very therapeutic to me, so I suppose that I will just have to keep it up. I don't want to seem too eager, but I feel like I'm finding my voice again. We'll see how it goes. Alright, here's my report card:

Physical: 9/10

Mental: 8/10

Emotional: 6/10 

Spiritual: 9/10

Financial: 9/10

Vocational: 8/10

Educational: 7/10

Social: 6/10

Total: 82/100

Grade: B-

If you write it, they will come...

Greetings internet,

My name is Ceej Walker (pronounced Siege). I'm not a writer, I don't have a English degree, and I'm not the type of person who really has a reason to write. At least, I haven't had a reason up until now. I've heard some really good advice as to why I should write a blog and how to focus it.

So here goes. This is going to be my blog about how I'm trying to fix my life one step at time. Full disclosure: I'm not someone who grew up with nothing, and I'm not someone who is homeless or who hit rock bottom. I'm just an average guy who wants to improve my life in every way. 

I want to have it all, the good job, the loving relationship, friends who care about me, excellent credit, and a good relationship with my parents. Now some of these things I already have to some extent. For instance, I already get along pretty well with my parents, but I don't want to lose that as I move forward. Losing my relationship with my parents for a better job, as an example, would be unacceptable.

There ya go, that's my goal with this blog. We know the why, now for the how. I believe heavily in the quantified self. If you don't keep data and track how things are going in your life, then it is a hundred times harder to figure out where the issues are and how to fix them. As I write about my life, I'm going to be keeping track of some measurements as to how my life is at that point. Hopefully with these trackers I will be able to steer my actions into constructive behavior and habits that make me into the man that I want to be. I decided on a blog over just a journal because if there is some kind of social obligation to keep writing maybe I won't just drop this after a couple of posts like I do all of my other writing projects.

Here are the quantifiers that I will be using to track my progress every day.

• Physical (How my body is doing, have I lost weight, is my back hurting, how am I sleeping, etc.)
• Mental (How fast am I thinking, how often do I forget stuff, how distracted am I on a daily basis, etc.)
• Emotional (Am I flying off the handle at people, am I slipping back in to my depression, am I angry at someone, etc.)
• Financial (How is my savings account looking, did I have an unexpected cost like a blown tire, do I have money for the things I want, etc.)
• Spiritual (How close do I feel to the ethereal, do I have a place in the universe, etc.)
• Vocational (How is my job going, am I happy at my job, have I made progress in moving up, am I getting better at it, etc.)
• Educational (Am I continually learning things, am I expanding my world view, do I know the things I need to know, etc.)
• Social (How often do I see/talk with my friends, are my social circles expanding, do I treat my friends well, etc.)

In order to keep track of these, every time I post I'm going to be giving myself a grade of 1 to 10 in each of these areas. For my continued dedication to posting and keeping the blog rolling, as well as to make the math easy, I'm going to give myself an additional 20 points. These numbers will total up into my Self Global Rating. If you interested where I came up with this idea, you can read more at this page.

I think that about wraps it up for today. If you have any questions please feel free to comment below or shoot me a message on Twitter or G+. I will do my best to make this a conversation based blog, and I would love to hear what you think, and for you to tell you friends. I can use all the help I can get with the motivation for writing, so please jump right in.

-Ceej